The Call

I wrote this post a month ago, but didn't post until things were a little closer. Like I said, not a for sure situation, but I wanted to write it and get my thoughts out when I was thinking them!

We got our "call" on Monday afternoon, August 11th! I was outside working on a project and still had my phone on silent from nap time so I missed our social worker, Kim's, call, but Glenn came out of the back door and said, "Kelly, it's Kim, we were matched!"

He put Kim on speaker phone and she gave us the details. We had read some of our birthmom's details and situation in a email the previous week, but she told us a few more things and more importantly, she wants to meet us! I feel like we didn't express our gratitude to Kim as much as we should have, but I think we were both in a little bit of shock. We have only been "in the books" for a month. This is only the second birthmother who has looked at our profile. It's been less than 5 months since we went to our first informational meeting with our agency.

We are headed up to Delaware next Thursday!

The last 48 hours have been a whole lot of mixed emotions! I'm so excited to hold our little tiny baby GIRL in our arms. But at the same time, she's not ours yet. We're nervous that the mom will change her mind (which she has every right to choose to do). I'm so anxious... I spent all of nap time yesterday organizing the basement and going through all of our baby gear and pulling out tiny clothes that didn't say "Daddy's Big Guy" all over them. I bought a changing table on Craigslist and I stopped at Target and bought some pink storage containers. I feel like I crammed about a trimester's worth of nesting in to one day!

Glenn and I spent Monday night researching all sorts of things - how to take care of ethnic hair, how to install a satellite so we can eliminate Direct TV to save some money since we will have TWO KIDS! Names! I've been reading our baby name book like crazy to come up with girl names that we both like.

I'm incredibly nervous to meet our birthmom. What if she doesn't like us in person like she did in person? What if we say something that upsets her? What if Lincoln is a terror and we look like bad parents?

We are meeting with Kim on Monday so that we can go over my list of questions and she can tell us what to do and not to do. Every situation is different so we will go over more of the details in person.

I'm obviously posting this after the fact since nothing is a done deal, but I wanted to get my emotions out so I have them for her in the future. Lincoln has a scrapbook showing every week of my pregnancy with him and I want her to have something similar. Her story is unique and special.

I hope this is the beginning of our story as a family of 4!

Two More Weeks

We found out on August 11th that a birthmother had chosen us and we are going to be placed with a baby girl! Our adoption wait was only 5 weeks. We were baffled and kind of in shock when our social worker told us.

A 3D Ultrasound of baby girl at 36 weeks.

The last month has been busy busy. We've been transitioning Lincoln to a twin "big boy" bed so that we could move the crib to the other room for baby girl. We took down all of Glenn's Navy pictures from the office/guest room and adding lots of pink so that it is now a nursery/guest room! We left the guest bed in the room for now while we are in this house since that is probably only another year. That's another post though.

I've been getting the more gender-neutral newborn and small baby clothes out of the basement and thanks to several friends, she's got lots of newborn clothes to wear. Good thing lots of friends had baby girls in the last couple years!

We still have some things we will need- like a double stroller and another camera for the monitor- but those major purchases will wait until baby girl is home and then probably several weeks after that. Although a birthmother has picked us, it is not final or binding in any way. In fact, she has 14 days after the birth and signing of the paperwork to change her mind. We'll celebrate after 14 days. :)

We get a lot of questions since adoption isn't super common so I'll try to answer a few.

Where is the baby from?
Wilmington, Delaware. We will travel up to Delaware when mom goes in to labor and will stay there until all of the paperwork is approved to bring her back to Virginia. Probably at least a week. If you have any hotel connections, please let us know. We'll be staying in a hotel near the hospital until she is discharged and then probably to a more affordable hotel.

What do you know about mom? 
We met her a few weeks ago and got to know her a little bit. She is very young and not ready to be a mom.

What about dad?
We don't know much about dad, including his medical history. He isn't in the picture and is no longer in Delaware.

Will the baby know her mom?
Yes, we are working with an open adoption agency and will continue to send pictures and letters of baby girl to her birthmother until she is 18. We will try to meet at least once a year so that baby girl knows her birthmother and where she came from.

Do you have a name picked out? Do you get to name the baby?
We have been discussing different options. Our family names, perhaps part of the birthmother's name? We haven't decided yet. The birthmother has the right to name the baby and that is what will appear on her original birth certificate, but when we finalize the adoption (which takes about 6 months) we can put our chosen name on her birth certificate which will appear along side our names.

The next couple weeks will be a waiting game. We are packing bags and enjoying time as a family of 3! Baby girl will be here before we know it!

Grayson Sanford Valone

Lincoln has a new cousin! He was born on Saturday morning 9/13 at 5:58 am CST!

7 lbs 20 3/4 inches of baby goodness!

He's at home with mom and dad now! I hope his first night went well! Can't wait to meet you Grayson!

I think they look like cousins. L on top. G on the bottom. 

Baby Valone!

He's not here yet, but we celebrated his upcoming arrival when Lincoln and I were in Minnesota in July. I kept things simple and had it at a British pub in downtown Minneapolis. They prepared the food and they cleaned up! Easy!

We made an alphabet book and played a little gift bingo. I think the mama to be enjoyed herself!

We had a great turnout and Blair's grandma made it from Virginia too!

I don't predict that she will make it to her September 14th due date. My guess is September 8th (full moon).

Good luck, Blair! Get ready to have your world rocked! (In mostly an amazingly awesome way, but also in a lack of sleep lose your hair lots of poop incredibly crazy kind of way.)

California! Day 1 & 2

Last month, I flew to California for a girls' trip to San Francisco. It was my first time leaving Lincoln over night! It was wonderful and refreshing and makes me miss my girlfriends even more. Two flew from MSP, two from Des Moines and me from Virginia. We all landed within a few hours of each other, picked up our minivan and drove to Ali's house in San Rafael. Thursday consisted of lounging, catching up and dinner out. It had been five years since all of us had been in the same place at the same time. Since then, we have all had kiddos (some of them have had two). Times have changed, but so many things have not. I love these girls.

What sparked our little reunion, was this little guy, Lucas. A miracle of science and love. He was a great little baby and I think he thoroughly enjoyed being loved on by his six visiting aunties.

We spent Friday afternoon drinking, playing bocce ball and passing around baby Lucas. I am in love with California weather now. Sunny, cool, no humidity. Glenn, when can we get orders to California??

The weekend went way too fast, but not before a little wine tasting in wine country! More pics of that later. This week is recruitment week for the sorority where we all met and it is making me so nostalgic for our college days. If I could go back and tell my college self one thing, it would be to savor every single day. Oh and to dump that guy I dated for entirely too long.

Thanks for hosting a house full of crazy for the weekend, Ali! Love you gals! When is our next reunion??

Congrats Amanda!

I drove down to Raleigh, NC a few weekends ago to help celebrate my cousin and her baby girl, Payton.

It was a packed house full of generous friends and yummy food.

Amanda, my Aunt Cindy and me!

My cousins, Cheri and Amanda. I can't wait to see pictures and meet the newest cousin. Payton is due the end of September. Only a few more weeks to go!

A little help

I had a little help at work yesterday. Little 2 week old Anthony! He's still got a little learning before he can run our department like my boss/his grandma.

Precious.

Glenn and I got to meet Miss Ella Ann while she was still in the hospital. I forget how tiny Connor was when I first saw him. Miss Ella was only about 36 hours old when we got to hold her! So sweet and tiny.

I think she is all the more precious knowing what her mommy and daddy went through. If Glenn and I are the start of the infertility battle, her mom and dad are the victors. She is the result of years of nature and science never quite lining up. A tiny little test tube baby miracle.

Amy has been a sounding board and wealth of information for me and it doesn't hurt that she has an accountant's brain. She does ALL the research and I've been benefiting from it. :)

You haven't read many blog posts on our issues in the last few months because there isn't much to report. Waiting. More waiting. No doctors available. More waiting.

We've also been exploring adoption options since that is something we have always wanted to pursue but that involves a lot of waiting and even more saving. Saving money. Babies are expensive. Adopted babies are even more expensive.

It is disheartening and disappointing on a daily basis that we can't start the family that we want, but seeing little Miss Ella is reassuring to know that the time and patience is worth the wait.

Aurora Laura Rohring

While Glenn and I were in DC the other weekend, we got to catch up with our friends, the Rohrings. They were stationed with us in Japan and when they left, Angelica was pregnant. I finally got to meet Miss Charlotte Hana. She was a cutie and even let us enjoy our late lunch and chance to catch up! When we lived in Japan, Angelica joked that she was going to name her Aurora Laura Rohring. With the way that the Japanese mix up their Ls and Rs, it was pretty funny. Arora Rora Roring is how it would have ended up sounding. Charlotte Hana is a little bit better I suppose.

It seems now that we are back in the States, most "Navy" cities that we visit, we have a friends or two in that town that we have the chance to catch up with. Now if only my family and friends lived in these cities, we would be great.

Ella Ann!

The little lady whom I threw a shower for last month made her appearance a few weeks early! This better not mean they are moving early.

She looks beautiful and just like her daddy. We can wait to meet her tomorrow!

I had dreams all night about her since I was getting texts from the hospital that she was on her way.

We can't wait to meet you Ella!

Ella Ann's Baby Shower

Before I started working and had lots of free time to party plan, Marcy and I planned a pink & purple themed baby shower for our friends, Amy and Zach and their soon to be daughter, Ella. It was a couples shower except two weeks before the shower, our other couple halves got sent to Jacksonville a week later than planned. Boo. The extra 4 hands would have been wonderful, but I think we did a pretty good job! I also loved throwing a party in our new house! They layout worked perfectly just as we hoped when we saw it during househunting!

I had fun making lots of pennants with leftover scrapbook paper. We decided to decorate with those because they matched the inviations we ordered off of Etsy.

Zach and Amy got a ton of adorable gifts personalized for their little one to be. I can't wait to meet her in another 5 weeks!

It was fun to do a couples shower too because several people got gifts just for Zach like his "Daddy Diaper Duty" kit.

I got Amy and Zach an "E" from Restoration Hardware for the baby's room. For such a planner and organizer, I have been so impressed with Amy's restraint in decorating the baby's room. She hasn't decorated anything since they are moving ACROSS THE COUNTRY 3 weeks after the baby is born. Gotta love the Navy life!

I'm not gonna lie, I'm going to be a little devastated when they leave. At least we have another couple months and they have two houses that they have to come back East to check out occassionally.

We had about 25 people for the party and made tons of food to munch on. A few of Zach's favorite - chicken dip and cheeseburgers- and a few of Amy's- veggies, fruit and cherry limeade!

We had a short reunion with our little Kingsville foursome as well! The four of us all met while our hubbies were stationed in Kingsville, TX. We all lived in the same neighborhood. It was fun to catch up again.

We had a little table set up on the side where people could decorate onesies and diapers for Miss Ella. I was pretty impressed with people's creativity! They turned out so cute. I also made a small scrapbook where people could write a word of advice for Amy and Zach. I put it together with her ultrasound pictures and a few from the pregnancy. I used my Cricut cutter on the scrapbook as well and I think it turned out pretty darn cute.

I think Amy and Zach had a great time. Can't wait to see that little baby!

Timing

I've been thinking a lot about timing lately. Moving. Orders. Schedules and babies.

Glenn and I are approaching our one year mark of attempting to start a family. I know for some, that is not a long time, for others, that is a very long time. For the impatient planner in myself, that is a very long time. Once I had the idea in my head, I wanted it to happen. Yesterday.

Japan had mediocre medical services at best so after a few tests at the clinic there, we were resigned to the fact that we would have to wait until we returned to the states for further help. That was fine with us, moving around the world without a place to live, a family could wait until we were more settled.

So I waited. Two weeks after closing on our house, I was in the doctor's office with a specialist and finally received the diagnosis that I had foreseen coming. A family can happen, maybe, but with a little assistance and medical intervention.

I bring this up because several weeks ago, I was at a spouses' club fundraiser and of the 4 of us volunteering at the time, all four of had or were undergoing fertility treatments. One woman called her son her $40,000 baby. Another quit her job recently because she couldn't stand working in a preschool after suffering her third miscarriage. It happens to so many, but so few talk about it.

So I came home with a list of further procedures to complete and fast forward another month, and I've got a drawer full of drugs to take.

And they sit in the drawer still. Why? Timing. The Navy is sending my husband away for several weeks which means that we wait. Again.

I was annoyed, but then my husband, as he does so well, gave me a little perspective. A fellow coworker who check in only a short time after Glenn, was assigned to be on the short-list of a potential IA. Meaning rather than be an instructor here in Virginia, like he signed up for, was being told to wait and see if he was going to be sent to Afghanistan for 7-9 months. Lucky for him, the job went to someone else. With the Navy, it's always about timing. Career timing.

So I wait. This time, for time to pass quickly.

Hayes Alan Peterson!

It took a week for me to see a picture, but I finally got one today! Congratulations to new parents Annie and Jeff on the birth of your son, Hayes! I can't wait to meet him in a few weeks! Love to all 3 of you!

Annabelle Tenora

I got to meet Miss Annabelle Tenora Johnson for the first time at Emily's wedding. My bestie's baby was born in July and I hadn't met her yet except for on Skype. She is such a cutie and I loved getting to meet her!

She has daddy's hair.

She's not quite the party animal yet. Just wait, Laura!

"Nice work, Dad. You put my dress on backwards. I feel like a fool." :)

I miss you guys! I can't wait til you come visit us in Norfolk!